IS THIS REALLY WHAT I WANT?

Is this really what I want? Or do I want it—the relationship, the career, the lifestyle because someone has it or someone wants it for me?

Coach Kendal Ficklin often says that persons want what it looks like but not what it feels like. There is great wisdom and truth in that statement. The reality is that often what we want comes with a great cost. There are trade-offs, compromises, sacrifices, and tough decisions that must be made in order to have what you say you want to have.

Too often, our ambition has us chasing things that we really don’t want but because it looked good on someone else or they made it look fun or even easy, we aspire to that achievement. But is it what we really want? Or would we reconsider our decision, if we knew the struggles and sacrifices required to attain that level of achievement, accomplishment, accolade or affluence?

I have wasted money, time, energy, and effort chasing behind things that were appealing and attractive at the moment before realizing that I liked what it looked like but not what it felt like. I liked the look of the finished product but was not as committed to the process it would take to realize its achievement.

I have learned in life that a critical part of that process is gaining clarity on whether you really want you say you want. This level of clarity is only gained by introspection and reflection. In other words, we must take the time to really think about what we want and what is involved in the attainment and achievement of the stated goal, dream, or aspiration.

This is why I am a major proponent of taking time daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly to just think. There are tremendous benefits from blocking off an hour a day, a day a week, a week a month, and a month a year to just engage in the practice of introspection and reflection. What is working? What’s not working? What decisions and choices do I need to be making now to enjoy the future I envision? Am I where I should be and doing what I should be doing? In the words of the late Katie Geneva Cannon, “am I doing the work my soul must have? Or in the words of the late Howard Thurman, am I doing what sets my “soul on fire”?

This level of clarity brings us closer to answering the question, “Is this really what I want”?