For the last few years I have been focused on and fascinated by the mind. Actually, I have been fascinated by the mind for a number of years. It was over 40 years ago now when I picked up the first book that was not tied to an assignment in school called “Think and Grow Rich.” I must admit that the teaching was beyond my level of comprehension at the time. It was only years later that I discovered that the entirety of the book is about controlling our thoughts and the power of the subconscious mind. Well, this seminal book became the first of many such books related to understanding the conscious mind, subconscious mind, the amygdala, hippocampus as well as neuroplasticity.
Recently I have become fascinated with developing mental toughness. This fascination has been spawned and spurred on by the number of books I have read by Navy Seals like David Goggins, Mark Dever, Brandon Webb and others who shared some of the secrets that the Navy Seals practice and embody to develop the ability in their own words to “embrace the suck.” It seemed and seems that the more a task or assignment sucks, the more they enjoy and embrace the moment. I wanted to develop that type of mindset and mentality. And so I began a journey of discovery to discover those habits and practices that would help me develop a similar mindset.
The principle is simple. The more things I do in the morning that are considered hard or that “suck”, the better prepared I am to tackle the challenges of the day. In this post, I want to share three of the habits I have embraced in order to develop greater mental toughness.
The first habit was waking up earlier.
WAKING UP EARLY (IER)
“It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom” – Aristotle
This habit has been a difficult one. I am one who values my sleep. However, there is a benefit to waking up earlier. I have found that my productivity and performance has improved. I have also found that I tend to get more accomplished before I leave home for work than I used to. I have not quantified it yet but I believe that I actually am adding one to two more days per week.
While it is difficult to wake up, in most cases, while it is still dark and the house is quiet. I have found some techniques that have helped make the transition easier. First, I prepare for the next day before I go to bed each night. I decide what I want to wear, what I will take for lunch, and even what goal I will accomplish the next day to move me closer to my goals. Second, I utilize a strategy called “10/3/2/1” rule as a primer ritual for sleep. This strategy created by Craig Ballantyne has helped me immensely prepare my mind and body for a restful night of sleep. This has been critical to my ability to wake up earlier. Following this rule, Craig recommends:
• 10 hours before bed – No more caffeine.
• 3 hours before bed – No more food or alcohol.
• 2 hours before bed – No more work.
• 1 hour before bed – No more screen time (turn off all phones, TVs and computers).
• 0 – The number of times you will hit the snooze button in the morning.
Off all the rules, “no more screen time” an hour before bed and the elimination of the snooze button were the two I was most worried about. I still have a ways to go with the screen time rule but I feel like I have mastered the snooze button. I was helped greatly in this area by Mel Robbins and her five (5) second rule. Now when my Fitbit vibrates at 5 AM, I count down from five (5) and at one (1) my feet are on the floor. And within minutes I am planking by my bedside. After my planking movements, I am brushing my teeth and drinking my first 16 OZ of water for the day. By the time I have done this it is impossible to go back to bed. My next habit ensures that I don’t.
RUNNING EARLY IN THE MORNING PERIOD!
“The same voice that says “give up” can also me trained to say “keep going.” — ANONYMOUS
Running early in the morning, and really running period is a great habit to embrace for building mental toughness. In part, or at least for me, because the moment it enters my mind to go for a run, a competing thought emerges to convince me of all the reasons that this is not a good idea. It’s too early, it’s too cold, you are too sore. I go anyway. I put one foot in front of the other anyway. Why? Because the habit I am building and the resiliency that is being developed is more important than the excuses my mind conjures up. I understand it is only trying to protect me. The job of the amygdala is to coordinate responses to the environment that triggers a response. The most notable of which is usually fear, anger, and anxiety. And this is precisely why I run. In order to remind that voice in my head that there is nothing to be afraid of or anxious about.
This is why my next move upon waking is to go for a run. It sucks. Partly because I am out of shape. And so right now each step is tortuous but necessary. It is necessary that I keep going. It is necessary that I set a goal for that moment and that I don’t stop until I have completed that goal.
One of the ways that I have found helpful in overcoming my minds trepidation about running is to break the larger goal down into micro-goals. After all, the only way to eat a frog is one bite at a time. Running for me is eating a frog and so I don’t think about the larger goal except in relationship to the smaller and more micro-level goals. So when I run the conversation I am having is “let’s run from this corner to that corner” rather than how many miles I have left to run. There are days when the conversation is more micro than that. There are mornings where I am challenging myself to just take the next step.
As simple as this seems, it is a way of building mental toughness because if requires you to keep going despite how difficult the moment is. You can get this effect by doing anything that pushes you from your comfort zone. Comfort zones are the enemy of mental toughness. The key, I have found, is to embrace the discomfort and to not give up or give into that voice that is trying to convince you that you are not up to the task.
Speaking of not being up to the task, my next habit from the very beginning has pushed me out of my comfort zone. The habit of cold showers.
TAKING COLD SHOWERS
“By taking cold showers we train ourselves to just ‘go for it’ when confronted with a potentially painful experience, no matter how much anxiety we experience. Examples of such experiences are telling someone bad news or a difficult confrontation at work. The cold shower teaches us that, no matter how dreadful something is at first; when we push through we will adapt and it will become bearable. “
— Einzelgänger
I took my first cold shower as a child by accident. It was either the result of an issue with a water heater or I just waited too long to shower and all of the hot water was gone. I took my first cold shower on purpose in the fall of 2018. I have been doing it since. It was being touted as a way of dealing with depression. I had tried everything else so I decided to give it a try. Six months later I was able to come off of one of my psychotropic meds. A year later, I was off of the anxiety meds I would take whenever I was feeling overwhelmed.
The greatest benefit I experienced from taking cold showers is I now embrace the uncomfortable. This has had a profound impact on my life. It has made me more adventurous. I am willing to try new things and to put myself in other uncomfortable situations. Now, I attack new challenges must like I approach the cold showers. Again, I uses Mel Robbins five second rule but I have added another trick I gleaned from her. I discovered it one day as I was binge watching her Youtube channel. A young woman indicated a fear of public speaking. Mel Robbins asked her what occurred in her body physically when she thought about speaking. The young woman indicated a few physical responses that happened to her as she prepared to speak in any public setting. What Mel told her has deepened my practice of cold showers further. Mel told her that when she thinks about speaking rather than give into the physiological response to acknowledge it and then to say to herself, “I am about to speak.” Simple but profound. Now when I prepare to jump in the shower, I say to myself, “I am about to take a cold shower.” Immediately, the apprehension and anxiety are gone. It changes the narrative of all of the negative responses and replaces it with a positive response. This practice then becomes transferable anytime I am confronted with something that pushes me out of my comfort zone. And it is this continual pushing beyond our comfort zones that ultimately strengthens us mentally.
In those moments we are reminded that we can really do anything we set our minds to do. We can overcome any obstacle, face any challenge, and manage any problem.
Paul D. Flowers, Sr. 